January 6th, 2026 ― Wil "The Shannara" Ohmsford (Austin Butler) must face difficult facts: his girlfriend has been irreversibly turned into a tree. Furthermore, he failed to defeat the Warlock Lord, he fucked up and broke his legendary sword, and he has daddy issues.
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or: They Asked the Machine That’s Killing the World About Chess, and It Said Black Has a Forced Win in 10,084,718,004,934,623
The day before, there had been an update to the knowledgebase. A redundant frontal core, extracted and trained separately for weeks on new data from a rediscovered population, was reconnected with the primary. Integration continued through the night. When the system was back online, finally, in the glowing AM hours of a Thursday in May, the lone researcher on duty downed a ceremonial last swig of tepid coffee and entered the first of the standard prompts: “Request diagnostic report on solving chess.” Some time elapsed―much longer than usual―before the machine gave a response.
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